Wishlist #19: English Gueuze

Let's go for broke. English gueuze. Let's have it. Simply because it can't exist.

Let's start with A Gueuze 101. It tastes like fizzy piss and smells like barnyard piss. If it actually looks like your piss, you need to get back on the tablets.

Let's try that again. It's an acidic beer featuring spontaneous fermentation - the wort ferments after natural inoculation by wild yeasts present in the air. It's made by blending old and young beers (lambics) which allows the younger beer to continue fermentation. And it's ruddy gorgeous.

To be lambic, the beer must be brewed in the Brussels-Lembeek area. Where the wild yeasts are. I'm guessing here, but I don't think there's a heap of Brettanomyces bruxellensis in the air around Kidderminster. Or Chorlton-cum-Hardy. Or Cocks.

And if we found it, and brewed with it, it still wouldn't be lambic/gueuze. Belgium has an outfit called HORAL, the High Council for Artisanal Lambik style beers. They promote the style and protect it via legislation. So we can't actually have gueuze here.

But I still reckon that England could have a wild-fermented sour ale. A little bit of brett could be out there. Somewhere. If you have a beer, if no other yeast can help, and if you can find brett, maybe you can brew... Wild Harvested Or Reseeded Superlative English Sour. WHORSES ;-)

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